yes. he said that.

Last night, after a day of training and seeing the new documentary about the US Occupation in Iraq: No End In Sight, my partner and I went to a popular pizza place in the south city neighborhood of St. Louis for dinner. It's a crowded place and not only does it take an hour to get a pizza, it takes about that long to get a place to sit. My partner and I were having a beer, chatting and standing by an old-school bowling game and I kept noticing this guy staring at us. He was with his girlfriend, but not paying much attention to her, and paying way too much attention to us. He was white, built, and had obviously been drinking. I felt uncomfortable, but ignored him, and eventually we went into the other room to see if we could find a table. We found a table, near an obnoxious group of early 20-somethings. My partner went up to the bar to get another drink, and noticed that a table was opening up. She pointed, and I quickly went over there so we could get this booth before any one else. It was where the previously mentioned guy and his girlfriend had been sitting, and they got in line behind my partner to pay their bill while I set my coat down on the booth to save it for us.

I could tell that this guy was saying something to my partner, but couldn't tell what. I stood standing, about a foot from him, and he finally turned around and started to say something to me, but his girlfriend tugged on him and told him to be quiet.

This is the conversation that had ensued, as reported to me by my partner, went something like this... She is MP (my partner) and he is TG (the guy):

MP: Hey, are you guys leaving?
TG: Why? Do you want to come with us?
MP: No, I want your booth.
TG: Why don't you just come with us? I can beat off while you two get it on.
MP: Uh.. no thanks.
TG: Come on, why not? Or would you prefer that she (he points to his girlfriend) beats off instead?

At this point, his girlfriend had pleaded enough that he shut up. They left, to go home to their (un)happy home, and we were stuck with... who says that? how do we live in a world where someone says that? Now this guy didn't harm us physically, but he attacked our sense of safety in a way that he will never understand.

In my work, I work with guys like him all the time. People say, "I don't know how you do it" - I say, "thankfully, someone is..." and the guys I work with are actually in a program that is challenging their abusive and/or violent behavior. This guy... probably isn't... but hey, maybe I'll see him again sometime, for 48 weeks of his life.